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Longing is Better Than Having - mega_mega
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Longing is Better Than Having
Wow, it's been 6 weeks since I updated. I suck at this journal thing, don't I?

My lap top was stolen over Thanksgiving weekend. Whoever has it, knows me inside and out. I wonder if I'll ever bump into them.

My contract with Rogers has ended and to be honest, I'm happy. Hopefully I'll find something better and hopefully Andrew will follow me there.

I'm reading a book written by Miranda July called No One Belongs Here More Than You. It's a series of short stories and I'm still trying to figure out what connects the characters. Loneliness is an obvious theme but they all want to be lonely. It's almost as if longing is better than having.

There are two kinds of lonely. The first kind is what is now known as "The Cat Lady" (I believe the only nickname for a man is "Creepy Old Man" if there's another one, let me know). It's where he/she is stuck in absolute solitude where something as simple as a brush of the arm has them longing for that same person for weeks. They take a bath alone night after night and pray that tonight is the night the phone rings. They even rehearse how they'll answer the phone ("Hi, it's the Smith's residence" "Good afternoon, Jane Doe's phone"). And the other kind is a little harder to pin point. The other kind's phone never stops ringing nor is their presence ever unnoticed. But this kind silently begs one of their callers to ask them a question. A real question.

I don't want to finish that ^. I started it off as a joke then I wanted it to relate to this quote: "It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality" – Arnold Bennett. Then I got bored.

My journals are all garbage. I don't see how anyone can read them. You must be extremely bored.

I met a lady downtown today who decided to tell me her life story after I gave her a cigarette. She is a recovering crack addict and alcoholic with a 9 month old baby. She's getting her daughter back next week and is taking up a GED course. She seemed genuinely happy to be changing her life around. Extremely happy. Her story was just spilling out of her mouth. She told it all in one breath. Not joking. Even with the missing teeth, her smile was contagious. I don't know her name nor will I ever see her again, but something tells me I'm going to remember her for a little while longer.

I like Britney Spears' song Gimme More and I'm not afraid to admit it. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE.

That is all.

Current Music: Paramore - Crushcrushcrush

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